When Your Writing Is A Worth

Kalau kita tanya budak-budak sekolah, nak masuk universiti atau tak, definitely dorang akan jawab nak. Dan pengalaman sendiri, bila dah ada diploma dulu, mestilah nak amik degree plak. Dan after degree kalau kta tanya most of the graduates, nak amik master atau tak, takkan ada yang ckp nak serta merta. During my time, saya betul-betul determined nak amik master right after degree. Ye, nak keja nak kahwin and nak amik master. Tak semudah bercakap.

Dalam class harini~walaupun dah masuk kelas keempat, dah genap sebulan register for master still, each PHD student akan questioning me "kenapa amik master by research?" yela mana taknya, kalau ikut rekod dari tahun 1999 baru 6 orang sahaja PHD students yg grad di fakulti kami. And yet, there are only 5 students in my class taking risk amik master by research. Hanya 5 org.

Today's class review about master by research

• need full focus. even those who did master by course work need to fully focus on study.
• almost PHD students in my class are doing full time basis. Me?
• takde life? betul ke?
• need to consult supervisor 10 hours per week. At least. FYI, I never yet have a chance to consult my supervisor.

There are lot lot lot more contradictions rather than pros that i heard today. Ya, but if i manage to get my self into this field, i am surely have a VVIP ticket towards my PHD. Am i planning for it? I myself dont really get the answer.

 But what i love about studying and challenging myself again is my relationship with Allah. Bila hati kita tak tenang pasal workload, assignment dan thesis, saya lebih suka mengadu dengan Allah. Saya rasa makin dekat dengannya. In fact, saya rasa lebih termotivasi.

What i have in my head right now is a plan to try put myself into comfort zone. I mean as if. Nothing is easy azliah. There are people who manage to get their master by research why dont u? Yes, i am not planning to pursue my PHD and now i must start to reallize that i need to have a PHD. Not as easy as saying this. Saya bagi diri saya peluang untuk satu sem ni. Kalau betul2 tak bley i can let go the dream. I mean the dream to have master by research. Maybe next year i can try to register as flexible learning student (FLP) in UPM or UKM. Planning to pursue MBA instead of MSC in coursework basis. UKM dan UPM lebih dekat dengan tempat keja saya.

Dalam waktu terdekat ni mmg agak susah nak fokus study. I need to focus more on my wedding preparation. I dont know. I just dont get the idea of doing master while prepare things here and there. Can u? And i need time for my self. Dengan nature keja azrel yg keja 5 minggu dan cuti 2 minggu in a row, x kan saya masih nak ke kelas or doing revision on the weekend and just let him alone during the leave. I just can't imagine the flow yet.

Semoga Allah memberi petunjuk. And I know He is always will. Rabbi yasir wala tua;sir ya karim. Amin.